It’s that dreaded time of year again; the one where the kids turn into snot buckets and then sneeze onto your eyeballs. Nobody sleeps at night because of all the wheezing, and you’re currently keeping your local pharmacy afloat all on your own. The worst thing might be how horrid it is outside. An outing not only requires the usual 78 bags of crap, but now you’ve got to worry about layering and jackets and finding clean socks.
The obvious solution is to stay indoors, but this has its setbacks too.
The more time I spend inside, the more I turn into a hobo version of Martha Stewart and Marie Kondo’s love child (if they ever had one). If it weren’t for the detangling brush, there’d be a colony of pigeons living in my hair, feasting on the remains of last night’s snack attack.
It’s not entirely a bad thing. My home is in far better condition than it was pre-winter, thanks to all my eco-friendly products from No Nasties Home. The only problem is, Marie Kondo says to get rid of anything that doesn’t spark joy.
I tried that and the neighbours called the cops.
Apparently, it’s ‘frowned on’ to put your husband and kids on the kerb with a ‘free to an adequate home’ sign.
There is a part of me worrying that, come summer, I’m going to miss all my summer clothes I chucked out. They kept staring at me, taunting me from the wardrobe. They were a constant reminder that winter does NOT bring me joy, and instead makes me dress like my 5-year-old when I let her choose her own outfit. The lowest point was when I briefly toyed with the idea of adding a fedora to my Saturday brunch ensemble. Trust me, it was not fedorable.
The bottom line is, winter sucks and I’m over it. Thank goodness the house looks amazing, or I swear, I’d find a bear to hibernate with and call it a day.
Whose idea was winter anyway?